13. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
I can honestly say that I was holding on to the broken rollercoaster of my past relationship. It ended almost 2 years ago but I found it hard to move on from it. The break up itself was hard to face considering I felt it should’ve happened years before. My own insecurities and young age held the safety net beneathe me for a long time. I didn’t want to write about it in my blog but when I skimmed the 50 questions a while back I knew when it came to this question that I would have to face the inevitable.
Only within the last year have I come to terms with the past. I stumbled upon a whole creepy folder of love letters in my email. I knew it was time, and this would be the last tear of the band-aid, so to speak. I went through a few and read them laughing at the puppy love streamed across my computer screen. Of course, it’s always nice to read romanticized opinions of yourself but really a person can only take so much. Eventually I got to the fifth or sixth email and decided to shut the door entirely by mass deleting the folder.
Letting go of this piece of me has allowed me to grow as a person. I used to look at it as a burden and a disappointment of sorts but I can truly say I’m grateful for it happening this way. If you asked me 5 years ago where I thought I’d be 5 years from then I would’ve painted this fantasized monumental idea of a perfect life. Since the ties have been severed I’ve been able to challenge myself in ways never thought imaginable before. I may sound selfish but I’ve been able to focus on me and what I want out of life. Being able to laugh, have fun with friends and simply experience everything that comes my way is absolutely what I deserve.